Thursday, November 4, 2010

The Ego of Masculinity

Hello again and welcome to another edition of my ranting. Before I get into this one, I want to thank the 50 people who are now following this blog, especially the ones that take the time to leave a comment. I love you guys and you make me a happy girl. If I knew who you were, I'd give you lollies for sure. Keep up the good work.

Ok so let get stuck in. This topic has been festering (sounds gross I know) in my mind for some time and every so often I reach boiling point. Also, just a heads up - I am not saying every guy out there is like this, in fact, its probably the minority. I just happen to work, have worked or know most of them.

This happened while out for dinner with my bud, Miss M. Miss M was having a rant in general, as is normal for when you get together with gal pals. Her rant was about the men at work being pigs and expecting women to do menial tasks. That set me off too. I work in a corporate office now in the public sector but used to work in a corporate environment in the private sector. There the management were all men. In fact, any job that is not admin based was and still is done by men. I worked in a male dominated environment for a male dominated company within a masculine industry, so of course I am going to run into men on power trips and also men who do not understand that women do more then photocopying, cleaning and cooking.
So anyway, Miss M's rant was that there is a dishwasher in her office that does not get unpacked. She had dirty dishes and noticed that there was a mixture of dirty and clean ones in the machine. So she turned it on to clean them all and then came back later to unpack it as it was apparent that no one else was going to. It was while she was doing this that a male colleague came in behind her with a dirty plate and waited while she unpacked the thing, and also had the gall to say to her "So that's part of your job is it?". Big mistake. Miss M is not one to take comments like that, in fact I would say she is quite a firey person, but I think it's part of her charm. She said something like this to him "No, but it seems as though no one else was going to do it. You know if you helped me un-pack the dishwasher, you could put your plates in and go." This guy was shocked the a she would speak to him and suggest that he, a manly man, should do something that was obviously so below him. However, he may also have been afraid of another tongue lashing by Miss M, so picked up 2 plates and and put them on the counter. Fantastic effort there big guy, you are now officially house trained. NOT!!! What kind of jerk does that? Seriously. Actually, they are the kind of jerks I worked with. That said, not all the guys I worked with were jerks. It's only a select few. Here are the choice cuts from them.
  • One guy walked past 3 photocopiers, and down 2 flights of stairs to get me to photocopy a sheet of paper for him twice. I know. Ridiculous.
  • Then there was the cranky old guy in accounts. He comes down to me and says "There's no milk". Umm, so? He thought it was my job to go and get him milk and tells me so. I tell him that he is wrong and if he wants more milk he will have to go get it himself. He then yells at me and says that it's definitely not his job, how dare I suggest that he should have to go get some more himself. It should be pointed out that the shop is about 50 meters up the road, but the issue has now become a matter of principle. He goes to my boss and tells her that I wouldn't go get him more milk. I love my boss, she's a champ. She basically told the old man to shove it up his ass. The kicker with this story is that I don't even use the milk. I don't drink coffee and don't eat cereal in the morning. I swear this guy would go through 2L of milk a day on his own. Maybe he wouldn't be so on edge if he stopped drinking coffee, or at least cut down. Maybe I should have told him that. No, you're right, probably not the smartest idea I've had.
  • Lastly there was possibly the stupidest comment ever made by my bosses boss. There was no receptionist in the building. We had a main line ringing on a phone in each dept. There were four departments. Accounts, Marketing, Exec and IT. The phones were not currently not ringing in IT. When my boss commented on it to her boss, she was told that they were boys and they were busy and it's not their job. She went off her nut. It was awesome.
I can't believe that some people still think like this. Anyway, that's the rant for today. Please join in, share your rants. It may be that you work people like the ones I described, or maybe you work with a woman on a power trip out to turn it around onto the fellas. So share your rant with us, it will make you feel better.
And fyi, while this was aimed at the men I have worked with, I have plenty of fodder for a post about the women I worked with, so I am certainly not biased on the subject. But that is another post for another day.

That's it from me today.

Be awesome to each other.


SkellyBones said...

Wow that is bad DX Luckily for me I get to work with my mum in her buisness as a seamstress :P Unluckily for me I have my 'manly' dad who thinks he's in charge of the house and has a say in everything.

For example in front of the cutting board in the kitchen we have a compost tray that gets emptied outside. My mum had left some egg shells in front of it since when she was cooking she was in a hurry and forgot to put them in the tray. After we ate, Dad literally walked over, ranted about how disgusting it was for her to do that, and then ordered her to walk across the room and put them in a tray that was only about 2 inches away.
I'm sorry, but seriously, was he unable to do that himself? Mum does all the cooking and you can't lift some little eggshells?

He's not like it all the time (thank god). He will tidy the house sometimes, but when he's in a bad mood then he takes it out on anyone in 'his' house.

So yeah that's my rant XD xxx

Anonymous said...

Oh I am so glad you told us about this blog on your other blog. My husband and I loved and have totally dealt with everything in your last post. Today's post brings back even more memories of all the as*holes that I have had to deal with as a woman. Thanks for sharing your rants I so love reading them! Keep um coming.

anna said...

Luckily I've never dealt with people that bad. I work in retail and a get the occasional creepy winks from old men blech. Im fifteen which makes it grosser. so creepy sometimes

Rebecca said...

Hi SkellyBones,

I know what you mean, exactly what you mean infact. It is infuriating at best, but mostly it has to do with the way they were taught to deal with things as children. We learn by example.


Rebecca said...

Hi Astraea,

Thank you so much for your kind words. It's always nice to be told that your words are making an impact, even if it is just one person, it means the world to the writer.

Being a woman in the workplace is still much harder then it should be. Even the little things are things that should not even exist.


Rebecca said...

Hi Anna,

I feel your pain. I have had more then my fair share of creepy old men. It really is gross, unnerving and it can make you feel physically sick.
Remember, if there are circumstances of unwanted attention that go beyond the occasional creepy-ass wink, you can speak to your boss. It is their reponsibility to create a safe and confortable environment for you. The most important advice I can give you is, no matter what your age is, never, ever be afraid to stand up for yourself and back up a decision you made if you truly believe it was the right thing to do.


Anonymous said...

Ouch, that's just ridiculous O__O Fortunately I don't think it has ever happened to me, but I've seen it happen to some other people already. And the worst thing is that those men don't want to do "women's funcions", but if women do their functions they just lay back and enjoy the time off *shakes head*

Rebecca said...

Hi Karina,

It's still very much a male dominated world.


Donna said...

My rant is about husbands. It's funny how the stereotype says that it's women who are clingy and needy, but get married and you find out different, because it's not just my husband, I know several like this. If they do anything, they have to drag you over to look at it. "Come see the car! I washed it!" "I just moved a boulder from one side of the yard to the other, come look!" "I just hacked down all those bushes in the backyard (the ones you love). You have to see it!" No woman I know of drags her husband around to see the toilet she just scrubbed, or the pile of laundry she just folded, or anything she does. She just does it. They need a pat on the back for everything short of wiping their ass after taking a crap.

Also, when my husband is bored he follows me around. But he doesn't help with what I am doing, he just stands there in the way. I go to another room to go do something else instead, and there he is in the way, and making "helpful" comments or worse, criticizing. Either way, I want to strangle him.

Okay, picture this... There is a bathroom off our kitchen, beyond that, there is a laundry room. Let's say I'm washing dishes, my husband needs to wash his hands, do you think he uses the sink in either the bathroom or laundry room? No, he gets in my way and has to use the kitchen sink. The same is true if I am doing laundry, does he use the kitchen sink then? How about the bathroom sink? No he gets in my way to use the laundry room sink.

Donna said...

I'm telling you, they need an audience to do anything. But I am disabled, I have three herniated discs. Between the meds and the pain sometimes I just want some peace so I can lay down. But no, he's gotta make a blaring racket so I know he is doing whatever it is he is doing, in fact, if what he is doing is quiet, he will stomp around so I can still hear him. But if I leave the house to do the shopping or go to an appointment, he lays down for a nap or just watches tv quietly. No audience, so he's not going to get off his ass to do all the important loud projects that he must do when I want some peace, is he?

Thanks for allowing me to do some man ranting. lol I love my husband, but these are a few of the things that just drive me nuts about him. And when I talk to my friends or sisters, they know exactly what I'm talking about since their husbands do the same!

Rebecca said...

Hi Donna,

Rant away. I know exactly what you mean. Things that are normal, everyday chores for us, like vacumming or making a cup of coffee for someone apparently deserve a round applause when performed by a male. Their constant need for attention is only cute for so long. Then it is just plain annoying.